Category: love

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Unrealistic Expectation of Disney Romance Myth Destroys Love

For generations, Disney movies and similar media have depicted love as a fairy tale where a prince or princess is destined to meet their “one true love,” leading to a flawless union that somehow stays perfect forever. In this idyllic picture, love is effortless, magical, and undying. It’s a beautiful image, but it’s also a deeply misleading one. The concept of “happily ever after” has planted seeds of unrealistic expectations in our minds, leading many people to seek relationships that don’t and can’t exist. In the real world, love is not a fairy tale. No hero is coming to sweep you off your feet, nor will any magical romance save you from the challenges of life. True love is a journey, not a destination, and understanding this distinction is key to building relationships that last.

The Disney Effect: Creating a “Love Disease”

Our culture is “infected” with a concept of love that is more fantasy than reality. From a young age, we’ve been fed ideas about romance that condition us to believe that love means finding someone perfect, a soul mate who will complete us in every way. In these stories, conflict is either absent or resolved by the time the credits roll. There is no real work involved, and the hard parts of love—the compromises, the disagreements, the learning—are conveniently skipped.

This distorted view of love has become so ingrained that it’s hard to shake, even when real relationships fall far short of it. When people struggle in their relationships, they often feel a deep sense of disappointment, believing something is wrong with their partner, themselves, or both. They may even conclude that they haven’t found “the one” after all, starting the cycle over again with someone new, only to experience similar disappointment later.

The truth is that love, as presented by Disney, is a “disease” because it creates expectations that no real person or relationship can fulfill. It defines love as a perfect, effortless connection, which leads to failure when reality sets in. True love is not about magic; it’s about shared growth, mutual support, and working through differences together.

The Problem with Chasing “True Love”

If you’re fervently searching for true love, hoping for a perfect connection, you may find yourself disappointed repeatedly. The issue is that the more we cling to idealized notions of love, the more likely we are to miss the authentic connections right in front of us. Real love is messy. It requires hard work, resilience, and an understanding that your partner is a flawed human being, just like you.

When we base our relationship expectations on fantasy, we set ourselves up for failure. We expect perfection where it cannot exist and find ourselves disillusioned when reality doesn’t match the storybook ideal. As a result, relationships may feel incomplete, leading some people to constantly search for the “next best thing” or even abandon the concept of monogamy altogether in a quest to find what they think love should be.

The Reality of Love: Choosing a Partner on a Similar Path

True love isn’t about someone “completing” you or rescuing you from your life. It’s about finding someone who is going in the same direction as you, with whom you can build a life together. This person isn’t perfect, and neither are you. But by walking a shared path and supporting each other’s journeys, you have a better chance of reaching fulfilling destinations.

Instead of seeking a savior or someone to fill a void, healthy relationships are formed when two whole individuals come together with a sense of purpose. When you find someone who shares your values, goals, and worldview, you’re far more likely to create a lasting bond. In such a relationship, each partner’s growth enhances the relationship rather than pulling it apart.

Why the Decline in Monogamy is Concerning

The rise of non-monogamous arrangements is often presented as a solution to the disappointments of traditional relationships, but it may only further complicate matters. Instead of seeking genuine intimacy, some people end up scattering their energy among multiple partners, diluting the depth of connection that monogamy can offer. This trend reflects the same unrealistic expectations: if one partner doesn’t fulfill every need, then perhaps two or three will. However, this only deepens the illusion that fulfillment lies outside of ourselves, rather than within.

Monogamy can be deeply fulfilling when approached from a place of authenticity and acceptance. When two people commit to working through life’s challenges together, they cultivate trust, loyalty, and depth. This process is not a fairy tale; it’s often uncomfortable, imperfect, and demanding. But it’s real—and it’s lasting.

Love is Not a Fairy Tale: Everything You Know About Love Might Be Wrong

Perhaps the biggest reason relationships fail is because our very definition of love is flawed. If we define love as “happily ever after,” with no conflict, no effort, and no struggle, we will inevitably be disappointed. In reality, love is about showing up every day, even when it’s hard. It’s about choosing to understand each other and grow together, even when it would be easier to walk away.

When you release the Disney version of love, you open yourself to a relationship that’s grounded in reality. Love is a choice you make each day, not a magical solution to life’s problems. It’s about finding someone who isn’t perfect but is committed to the journey with you. By moving past the myth, we can create partnerships based on trust, resilience, and mutual respect.

How to Recognize and Build a Real Relationship

    1. Focus on Values, Not Perfection: Instead of seeking perfection, look for someone whose values align with yours. Shared values are the foundation for a stable, lasting relationship.
    2. Embrace Imperfections: Real love means accepting your partner’s flaws as well as your own. Recognize that you’re both growing and changing, and commit to supporting each other along the way.
    3. See Love as a Daily Choice: Love isn’t a one-time decision; it’s something you choose every day. Relationships require nurturing, compromise, and resilience.
    4. Don’t Expect a Savior: No one can “complete” you, and it’s unfair to put that expectation on a partner. Love is about supporting each other, not rescuing each other.
    5. Find a Shared Path: Seek someone who is going in a similar direction in life. If you’re aligned in your goals and values, your chances of long-term happiness are much greater.

Moving Beyond the Fantasy

If you’re willing to abandon the fairy-tale version of love, you may discover something even better: a real partnership built on mutual respect, shared goals, and genuine affection. True love isn’t about happily ever after; it’s about being there through the good times and the bad, growing and learning together.

By letting go of the unrealistic expectations instilled in us by Disney and other fairy tales, we can start building relationships that are grounded in authenticity. This shift might not be easy, but it opens the door to a more fulfilling kind of love—one that isn’t based on fantasy but on the beauty of two imperfect people navigating life together.

In the end, love is not a cure-all, nor is it the stuff of fairy tales. But when we approach it realistically, with humility and commitment, we may just find that what we build tether can be even more beautiful than any storybook ending.

 

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The Unfortunate Current State of Affairs in the Love Search!

In today’s society, the concept of finding a life-long mate has become increasingly fraught with challenges. The harsh realities of failed relationships and marriages, betrayal, infidelity, and financial disputes often overshadow the dream of a lifelong partnership. Trust in relationships seems almost antiquated, and the impact on future generations is profound. Let’s explore the current state of mate-finding, examining the reasons behind its decline, the pervasive role of modern dating apps, and the financial and emotional ramifications of failed partnerships.

The Decline of the Life-Long Relationship Ideal

Historically, marriage was viewed as a cornerstone of societal stability, providing emotional support and a foundation for raising children. However, this ideal has tarnished the increasing frequency of failed relationships and marriages. According to the American Psychological Association, approximately 40-50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce. This high rate of marital dissolution has led to widespread cynicism about the feasibility of lasting relationships.

Betrayal and Infidelity

Trust betrayal and infidelity are significant contributors to the breakdown of trust in relationships. Studies suggest that infidelity occurs in 20-25% of marriages, causing irreparable damage to trust and emotional bonds. Dr. Esther Perel, a renowned psychotherapist, notes, “Infidelity is traumatic because it strikes at the core of our emotional trust and security.” The prevalence of infidelity undermines the foundation of relationships, making it difficult for individuals to fully commit and trust their partners.

Financial Inequity and Divorce

The financial implications of divorce are another critical issue. While tax laws and financial systems often favor married couples, they can also exacerbate inequalities during divorce proceedings. The battle for assets can be particularly contentious when couples are financially unequal. The legal process of divorce is not only financially draining but also emotionally traumatic, especially for children who witness these conflicts. As Dr. Judith Wallerstein, a psychologist known for her work on the impact of divorce on children, states, “Divorce can be a devastating experience for children, leading to long-term emotional and psychological issues” .

The Psychological Impact on Children

Children who grow up in environments marked by marital conflict and divorce often carry these traumas into adulthood. Many develop a profound skepticism about marriage, vowing never to marry as a means of self-protection. This phenomenon is supported by research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, which indicates that children of divorced parents are more likely to experience relationship instability and a reluctance to commit to long-term relationships themselves.

The Role of Dating Apps

In the face of these challenges, dating apps have surged in popularity as a modern solution to mate-finding. However, the reality of these platforms often falls short of their promises. While many apps market themselves as tools for finding long-term relationships or soul mates, they are frequently dominated by individuals seeking short-term sexual encounters or personal gain. A Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking study found that many dating app users are primarily interested in casual relationships rather than committed partnerships.

The Erosion of Trust and Authenticity

The transient nature of relationships formed through dating apps further erodes trust and authenticity in the dating landscape. Users may engage in deceptive self-presentation, leading to disillusionment and disappointment when expectations do not align with reality. Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, explains, “The paradox of choice on dating apps can lead to a decrease in overall satisfaction, as individuals may continually seek out new options rather than committing to a single partner.”

Financial and Emotional Ramifications

The financial and emotional toll of failed relationships extends beyond the individuals involved, affecting broader societal structures. The legal and financial battles accompanying divorce strain court systems and impose economic burdens on families. Emotionally, the cycle of betrayal and mistrust perpetuates a culture of skepticism and fear around commitment.

Conclusion

The modern landscape of finding a life-long mate is a complex and often discouraging one. The high rates of failed relationships and marriages, coupled with widespread infidelity and financial inequity, have tarnished the ideal of life-long coupling. The rise of dating apps has not alleviated these issues; instead, they often exacerbate them by fostering environments conducive to short-term relationships and deceit. As a result, trust and authenticity in relationships have become rare commodities. The impact on future generations is profound, as children of divorce and conflict grow up wary of commitment and skeptical of the possibility of enduring love. While the challenges are significant, understanding these dynamics is the first step toward finding solutions that foster genuine, lasting connections in an increasingly complex world.

Sources:

  1. “Infidelity Statistics.” American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.
  2. Perel, Esther. The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity. Harper, 2017.
  3. “Marriage and Divorce.” American Psychological Association.
  4. Wallerstein, Judith S. The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study. Hyperion, 2000.
  5. “The Impact of Divorce on Children.” Journal of Marriage and Family, 2015.
  6. “User Behavior on Dating Apps.” Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 2018.
  7. Fisher, Helen. Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray. W.W. Norton & Company, 2016.
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Love Challenge Searching for a Life-long Loving Relationship

Finding a life-long partner who values commitment, trust, integrity, fidelity, honesty, and openness is no small task today. The search for a genuine, lasting relationship can feel daunting, with numerous societal, cultural, and technological influences complicating the journey. The entertainment industry, social media, and the proliferation of dating apps have transformed the way people connect—often prioritizing immediacy and variety over depth and commitment. Let’s look at some love challenges people face when searching for a life-long loving relationship and how modern distractions can impact the pursuit of a faithful, enduring relationship.

The Modern-Day Challenges of Finding a Life-Long Partner

    1. Unclear Expectations and Changing Relationship Goals
      In the past, cultural expectations around marriage and long-term commitment were often clearer, and many people shared similar views on these goals. Today, attitudes toward relationships vary widely, with a growing acceptance of non-traditional and less-committed relationship structures. For someone seeking a serious, lifelong partner, it can be challenging to find others who share a similar vision of monogamy, loyalty, and marriage.
    2. Commitment Hesitation and Fear of Settling
      With the pressure to find the “perfect” partner, some individuals avoid committing to a single relationship for fear of missing out on a “better” match. Known as “choice paralysis,” this phenomenon leads many to hesitate when it comes to committing, leaving those looking for a stable, life-long partnership frustrated by partners who aren’t ready to settle down. In this climate, trust and fidelity can feel elusive.
    3. Erosion of Traditional Relationship Values
      Trust, integrity, fidelity, honesty, and openness are the cornerstones of a strong relationship. Yet, the constant exposure to sensationalized breakups, infidelity, and betrayals in the media can erode these values. When it seems that relationships rarely last in the entertainment world, and high-profile betrayals are common, the public perception of loyalty and commitment can be skewed, complicating one’s personal pursuit of a stable, lasting partnership.
    4. The Role of Media and Entertainment
      The entertainment industry’s portrayal of relationships often normalizes casual dating, breakups, and infidelity. Movies, shows, and celebrity news stories can create a distorted view of what relationships should look like, sometimes glorifying dysfunction or thrill-seeking over stability and loyalty. Constant exposure to these messages can subconsciously shift people’s values and expectations, making it more difficult to find a partner who prioritizes long-term commitment.
    5. Distractions from Social Media and Dating Apps
      Social media and dating apps offer endless options and instant access to new people, which can feel exciting but ultimately complicate relationships. Apps that encourage casual connections over meaningful ones can create habits of “swiping” rather than investing in a single person. For those in relationships, the constant availability of new connections can serve as a temptation to explore outside the partnership rather than nurturing and growing the existing bond.
    6. Hookup Culture and the Impact on Long-Term Commitment
      Hookup culture, often amplified by dating apps, normalizes brief, non-committal encounters, which can discourage people from seeking deeper connections. Those looking for a committed relationship may feel out of place or struggle to find partners interested in more than a short-term connection. This normalization of transient relationships can leave people feeling unfulfilled when they yearn for a stable, enduring commitment.

Navigating the Influences and Finding a Life-Long Partner

Despite these challenges, there are ways to cultivate a strong, committed relationship in a world full of distractions. Here are some strategies for staying focused on finding a monogamous life-long partner who values integrity, honesty, and fidelity:

    1. Clarify Personal Values and Relationship Goals
      Start by identifying and being clear about personal values and goals for a relationship. Understanding what you seek in a partner—whether it’s honesty, long-term commitment, or fidelity—can help attract others with similar values and provide clarity during the search.
    2. Limit Distractions and Set Boundaries with Technology
      Consider limiting the influence of dating apps and setting boundaries around social media to reduce distractions. Practicing intentionality with technology can help focus attention on genuine connections and strengthen the bonds within a relationship rather than inviting temptation.
    3. Seek Out Like-Minded Communities
      Finding a life-long partner can be easier within communities that share similar values and perspectives on relationships. Whether through interest-based groups, spiritual communities, or activities that prioritize personal growth, being around people who share your vision can increase the likelihood of meeting a compatible partner.
    4. Foster Open Communication Early On
      Early, honest communication about values, expectations, and long-term goals can help weed out incompatible matches and set a strong foundation. Knowing where a partner stands on commitment, trust, and fidelity early on can prevent disappointments and guide you toward fulfilling, lasting connections.
    5. Take Cues from Positive Relationship Models
      While media and entertainment often highlight relationships’ struggles, seeking out positive relationship models can inspire and affirm the values of loyalty and dedication. Focusing on examples of commitment, integrity, and openness in real-life couples can encourage and reassure in pursuing a life-long partnership.
    6. Prioritize Emotional Depth over Surface-Level Attraction
      Attraction is important, but building a lasting relationship requires emotional connection and depth. Prioritizing integrity, kindness, and dependability over superficial attraction can lead to more fulfilling connections and minimize distractions that may undermine the relationship.

Moving Forward with Confidence

Finding a life-long partner today may be challenging, but it’s not impossible. By cultivating clarity, intentionality, and resilience, individuals can overcome societal pressures and distractions, making meaningful, lasting connections with partners who share their commitment to a fulfilling, enduring relationship. Recognizing the distinction between short-term distractions and genuine relationship potential empowers individuals to navigate modern dating with confidence and authenticity.

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Top 40 Reasons Love Does Not Exist

Many people don’t believe in love and believe that love doesn’t exist.

Prior to attending our Awakening to True Love Workshop, here are the top 40 reasons love does not exist:

1. If you fall in love with someone it is only based on your perception of that person at the time. It is unrealistic to think they could be like that in real life. When you find out, the love you had fades away.

2. Love is lust’s wanting to own and control someone else for regular source of sex supply.

3. Being in love is the same chemical reaction in humans as eating a volume of chocolate.

4. Love is a repackaging of a system that justifies manipulation and control to get what you want from someone else.

5. Love victimizes the person in a relationship that is weaker.

6. Love is an excuse used to encourage someone to play the martyr in the name of love.

7. People are selfish, so they use love to get what they need.

8. People who are in long-term relationships only survive because one of them gives up and gives in to make it last.

9. Love brings nothing but pain and disappointment.

10. Love can bring happiness but only for a while, then it fades and disappears altogether.

11. If you deeply love someone else, they will disrespect you and always be looking for someone else to make them feel good, no matter how hard you try.

12. If people could commit and keep their word, love could be possible, because they cannot, it is not.

13. My parents said they loved each other, got married, had us, were never happy and are divorced. There is no such thing as love.

14. Scientists have proven there is no such thing as love. It is a chemical reaction in the brain associated with the hormone called Oxytocin.

15. Since there is no concrete definition of love, what it is, what it means, two different people could not plausibly share the so called, “love.”

16. The feeling of love may last for a moment, but not for long, then it’s time to move on to the next one.

17. Long-lasting love isn’t anything more than a fairy tale told by fantasizing mothers to their daughters.

18. One’s ability to love changes with their moods, so there is no such thing as true love. You love when you feel good, not so much when you’re not feeling good.

19. Love requires trust. Since you cannot ever really trust anyone else, you can’t have love.

20. Look at the rate of divorce, it tells you love is not real.

21. People who are married for a long time fake it to make it.

22. I won’t ever love somebody, because I am honest. No one can love an honest person. If you want love, you must be a liar.

23. Back in the day they came up with the idea of love an marriage as a way to survive on the farm. Now, we know better.

24. If anyone could have loved me, I would believe. Since no one could do it, I don’t believe in it.

25. I believe I can love someone but cannot believe anyone can love me, like I can love them, so there is no love it if it is one-sided.

26. If you fall in love with someone, get ready to have your heart broken, lose everything and never believe in love again.

27. Being in love with someone is foolish and dangerous. Only an idiot would fall in love, and I’ve been an idiot more than once. Not doing it again.

28. Love is an outdated dream, that cannot be realized in modern times.

29. Men do not have a capacity or capability to love, so cross-sexual love is not possible.

30. The idea of love is inside your head and cannot be realized in real life. Love is an illusion.

31. You can love everyone, or no one, but you will never find “the one” you can love forever. That is ridiculous.

32. Love is not love, it is an addiction. You can’t help looking for love because you’re addicted to it, and you will never find enough of it to satisfy once an for all.

33. People fall in love with things that fade with the time and end up being in love with what doesn’t exist (or may have existed earlier).

34. If you’re saving your love for the perfect person, forget it no one is perfect.

35. Why does everyone even talk about love? It’s just a word you say, when you want to get laid.

36. Love implies commitment. No one can commit to anything in our disposable society today.

37. In humans, love is polyamorous. To expect monogamy from a species designed to enjoy multiple partners is just wrong.

38. True love is really only lust that morphs into friendship and may be survivable in the long run, if you’re willing to lower your expectations.

39. Love is a government imposed scam to create more taxpayers and consumers.

40. There is no such thing as love. If true love were possible, you wouldn’t be asking me that question, would you?

Why do you think love doesn’t exist?

See you at the Soulmate Wizardry event.

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Awakening to True Love

Welcome to Awakening to True Love. Awakening to true love is a work of love of authors Sherry Lynn Marie and David M Masters. The concept of Awakening to True Love is to inspire you to consider going beyond the boundaries you may have once thought of as what it means to love, to be loved, to love in a romantic relationship, love others and the world.

 

Click here for information on the Awakening to True Love Workshop

This type of love expansion breaks through the traditional thoughts about “love” and what it means to love or be loved.

This is not for the faint of heart. Learning the truth about true love is not what you might expect. Unlike any other love or relationship series Awakening to True Love will shock you and shatter your preconceived ideas about love.

So, if you are courageous enough, consider learning about true authentic love and you, too, may find yourself awakening to true love, if you dare.